Wednesday, August 19, 2009

fresh air

i feel like my holiday is going down the drain!
man.. what with lan and lit and library and applications.

sometimes, its so hard to make time.
sometimes, your ambiguity is driving me nuts.
sometimes, i fear all is lost.
sometimes, though, i know it isn't but am to afraid to take the first step.
sometimes, actually always, i fear that i will get thrown into a whole swallowing darkness.
sometimes, it is way too easy to lose focus and forget.
sometimes, its so much easier to detach yourself and not care.
sometimes, hoping is all there is.
sometimes, i just love the nature.
sometimes, i hate how these very surroundings make me go through crap.
sometimes, i regret and regret and regret.
sometimes, i ask myself 'why bother?'
sometimes, many times, many times.

Sunday, August 9, 2009







can't wait for cambodia!
and i need to catch up on all the movies around town.
calling all outdaters to join! :)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

for janice

here.a bit of an extra from what we were talking about in service. just for you.

some sort of a book review larh.

By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, by Paulo Coelho

The protagonist, Pilar meets her childhood friend after about ten years of separation and the two of them have developed along separate courses.

Over the years, Pilar had learnt to bury her feelings and to plan ahead. But when she found her friend again, she found that he was still in love with her. Falling in love with him wasn't safe, but when the time came to choose, she chose to fall. She pushed aside "the Other"--the one who says "we must plan for tomorrow"--and she fell.

And the other thing was this: the man had a Big Dream. And he had to choose between Pilar and his Big Dream. And Pilar knew that she couldn't just wait for him to choose. She had to do something.

I'm waiting for that kind of love, the kind of love that will make me want to do something, to fight, whatever. I'm waiting for someone to say something like that to me:

"But I'm going to fight for your love," he continued.
"There are some things in life that are worth fighting for to the end."I was speechless.
"You are worth it," he said.

And I've also learnt that "it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggle for your dreams than to be defeated without ever even knowing what you're fighting for".
And in the end, I'm reminded that even when it feels like someone else has changed too much and we might have developed along separate courses, all rivers merge with the sea.

There, wait for your Halley's Comet. It comes round every 75-76 years. Once in a lifetime.
I'll make sure I know when I see it. And then, I'm going to hold on to it.

We'll learn that "men and women aren't enemies. Men and women are soulmates .And if they were just honest, right from the word go, then they'd all realize it. All this being mysterious and aloof is complete rubbish. Everyone should share their secrets straight away!" (Sophie Kinsella, Can You Keep A Secret?)
-that is just pure nonsense. it's the mystery that draws people together no?

aargh. complex subject.


Saturday, July 18, 2009

untitled again

-------------------------------------------------------------------------- a fine line

it's just how well you lose i guess, since ultimately you still lose.
i.e. just like malaysia vs. man united match. haha. nope. i wouldn't waste money on that,
but i happen to flip to the channel on tv. i shall not make any more open comments just in case i get apprehended by ISA or something:)

anyway, i played paintball. i got bruises! i managed to conquer half of my fear. half only mind you since i still didn't dare to run in front to get shot. that would be the ultimate experience! haha. and there was a few times during the game, that i had one of those "moments".
I suddenly felt how and why someone would want to go around shooting someone and holding a gun. gamers, i HALF understand you now.hah.

and i'm addicted to a korean show again!!it's been so long ever since i last watched one.
it's awesome la. about a third class mentally retarded guy who undergoes a surgery and becomes not just normal but wayyy smart. but it's those different values you get when you're a retard-turn-genius la that really hits me. not to mention the korean guy is just plain awesome.
although predictable, but come on, sometimes you watch it for the happy ending right? hopefully it is though. it's not finished yet..and i'm waiting for the weekend to come again!
KBS world. it does rock socks la.


Friday, July 3, 2009

Dedicated to Dad

*greetings.the blogger got lost in the whirlwind of life. and now back.

awhile maybe. for a breather.*

daddy, the superhero.
I have always been so proud of you.

Although you didn't think yourself deserving to put on that shirt I'm giving you

as it says SUPERHERO.

but you really are! without a doubt.

so happy belated birthday and a really big happy early father's day to the first man i loved:)

with all those mushy sloppy love kisses.

haha. thats not normal.

we are the traditional chinese family.

and, I went up stage (church main service) , and in front of about 1000 people? literally,

prayed for all fathers on fathers day.

*cue astonished looks and opened mouths:)*

at least i thought it was such a great deal la.

pa, hope you'd be blessed, i know you were darn proud:)


on another note,

Miss Wu Shin Yin

i know it's a bit late to post it since you've been gone like what a week??

whoa, time flies really fast!

i'm missing you tonnes!

and i can't believe you are the first to leave among us. where can? :)

oh well, just come back hot and successful kay.

i'll miss your cackle, you witch!

*and do check out your camera for extra bits from me, yen and jia ;)*


I wish I were a kid again.


not cause we had no troubles, no problems, no stress,

instead, it is the naiveness, guileless, childlike manner

that causes them to enjoy greater things in life.

And how they more often than not bravely step into the unknown,

like hopping onto a swing without fear that they might be thrown off,

or climbing into one of those playground tunnels not fearing that they might be

thrown into a whole different world,

or trying to put all sorts of things, edible or not, into their mouths not fearing they might die of poisoning of some sort.

It is for that reason that people tend to want to be a child again,
to be brave and courageous,

Who says kids have no problems? it is just cause they dont think as much

into the future as we do.

Think again.

I think i need those naiveness back again.

To not fear of the unknown.

To take things a step at a time.
To be able to trust and have faith in the future.


And people tell me blogging is unhealthy.

phebe got her driving license about 2 weeks ago finally.

without "pau"-ing. yes! save the world from evil!!

over and out.