fresh air

i feel like my holiday is going down the drain!
man.. what with lan and lit and library and applications.

sometimes, its so hard to make time.
sometimes, your ambiguity is driving me nuts.
sometimes, i fear all is lost.
sometimes, though, i know it isn't but am to afraid to take the first step.
sometimes, actually always, i fear that i will get thrown into a whole swallowing darkness.
sometimes, it is way too easy to lose focus and forget.
sometimes, its so much easier to detach yourself and not care.
sometimes, hoping is all there is.
sometimes, i just love the nature.
sometimes, i hate how these very surroundings make me go through crap.
sometimes, i regret and regret and regret.
sometimes, i ask myself 'why bother?'
sometimes, many times, many times.

lacking

I NEED PERSPECTIVE

I NEED IDEAS

I NEED AN EPIPHANY

I NEED "LIGHTBULBS"

I NEED

holidays...whee..

can't wait for cambodia!

and i need to catch up on all the movies around town.

calling all outdaters to join! :)

for janice

here.a bit of an extra from what we were talking about in service. just for you.

some sort of a book review larh.

By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, by Paulo Coelho

The protagonist, Pilar meets her childhood friend after about ten years of separation and the two of them have developed along separate courses.

Over the years, Pilar had learnt to bury her feelings and to plan ahead. But when she found her friend again, she found that he was still in love with her. Falling in love with him wasn't safe, but when the time came to choose, she chose to fall. She pushed aside "the Other"--the one who says "we must plan for tomorrow"--and she fell.

And the other thing was this: the man had a Big Dream. And he had to choose between Pilar and his Big Dream. And Pilar knew that she couldn't just wait for him to choose. She had to do something.

I'm waiting for that kind of love, the kind of love that will make me want to do something, to fight, whatever. I'm waiting for someone to say something like that to me:

"But I'm going to fight for your love," he continued.
"There are some things in life that are worth fighting for to the end."I was speechless.
"You are worth it," he said.

And I've also learnt that "it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggle for your dreams than to be defeated without ever even knowing what you're fighting for".
And in the end, I'm reminded that even when it feels like someone else has changed too much and we might have developed along separate courses, all rivers merge with the sea.

There, wait for your Halley's Comet. It comes round every 75-76 years. Once in a lifetime.
I'll make sure I know when I see it. And then, I'm going to hold on to it.

We'll learn that "men and women aren't enemies. Men and women are soulmates .And if they were just honest, right from the word go, then they'd all realize it. All this being mysterious and aloof is complete rubbish. Everyone should share their secrets straight away!" (Sophie Kinsella, Can You Keep A Secret?)
-that is just pure nonsense. it's the mystery that draws people together no?

aargh. complex subject.

HEARTS.

untitled again

FANTASY

-------------------------------------------------------------------------- a fine line

DREAM

it's just how well you lose i guess, since ultimately you still lose.
i.e. just like malaysia vs. man united match. haha. nope. i wouldn't waste money on that,
but i happen to flip to the channel on tv. i shall not make any more open comments just in case i get apprehended by ISA or something:)


anyway, i played paintball. i got bruises! i managed to conquer half of my fear. half only mind you since i still didn't dare to run in front to get shot. that would be the ultimate experience! haha. and there was a few times during the game, that i had one of those "moments".
I suddenly felt how and why someone would want to go around shooting someone and holding a gun. gamers, i HALF understand you now.hah.


and i'm addicted to a korean show again!!it's been so long ever since i last watched one.
HELLO, GOD?
it's awesome la. about a third class mentally retarded guy who undergoes a surgery and becomes not just normal but wayyy smart. but it's those different values you get when you're a retard-turn-genius la that really hits me. not to mention the korean guy is just plain awesome.
although predictable, but come on, sometimes you watch it for the happy ending right? hopefully it is though. it's not finished yet..and i'm waiting for the weekend to come again!
KBS world. it does rock socks la.

kudos.

Dedicated to Dad

*greetings.the blogger got lost in the whirlwind of life. and now back.

awhile maybe. for a breather.*

daddy, the superhero.

I have always been so proud of you.

Although you didn't think yourself deserving to put on that shirt I'm giving you

as it says SUPERHERO.

but you really are! without a doubt.

so happy belated birthday and a really big happy early father's day to the first man i loved:)

with all those mushy sloppy love kisses.

haha. thats not normal.

we are the traditional chinese family.

and, I went up stage (church main service) , and in front of about 1000 people? literally,

prayed for all fathers on fathers day.

*cue astonished looks and opened mouths:)*

at least i thought it was such a great deal la.

pa, hope you'd be blessed, i know you were darn proud:)

haha.

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on another note,

Miss Wu Shin Yin

i know it's a bit late to post it since you've been gone like what a week??

whoa, time flies really fast!

i'm missing you tonnes!

and i can't believe you are the first to leave among us. where can? :)

oh well, just come back hot and successful kay.

i'll miss your cackle, you witch!

*and do check out your camera for extra bits from me, yen and jia ;)*

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I wish I were a kid again.

nope,

not cause we had no troubles, no problems, no stress,

instead, it is the naiveness, guileless, childlike manner

that causes them to enjoy greater things in life.

And how they more often than not bravely step into the unknown,

like hopping onto a swing without fear that they might be thrown off,

or climbing into one of those playground tunnels not fearing that they might be

thrown into a whole different world,

or trying to put all sorts of things, edible or not, into their mouths not fearing they might die of poisoning of some sort.

It is for that reason that people tend to want to be a child again,

to be brave and courageous,

Who says kids have no problems? it is just cause they dont think as much

into the future as we do.

Think again.

I think i need those naiveness back again.

To not fear of the unknown.

To take things a step at a time.

To be able to trust and have faith in the future.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And people tell me blogging is unhealthy.

phebe got her driving license about 2 weeks ago finally.

without "pau"-ing. yes! save the world from evil!!

over and out.

cheers:)

LOST

LOST.

what now??

what?

what?

WHAT?

Life is such a chore.

...

though you put a smile on my face.

superhero stories coming right up.

just JUNK

pfft.
not satisfied.
i want to shop till i drop!
why la why youthopia no more.missed the chance lor.
weekend wasted. nothing done.
nursing a sorethroat due to excessive amounts of talking on sat and sun.
night at the museum 2 was crazy funny i tell you. definitely recommend it :)

can't wait for CG outing:) finally hor..
then we people will hav more pics together! ahha.

I do influence people.
so many plans,so little time. so much to do, so little time.
and why is everyone going off la?? not fair :'(
Listen.

onions rock.

not much of an occasion for this,
but do enjoy.
I like this woman -CAROL ANN DUFFY.
she rocks. ROFL

Valentine by Carol Ann Duffy

Not a red rose or a satin heart.

I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.

Here.
It will blind you with tears like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.

I am trying to be truthful.

Not a cute card or a kissogram.

I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.

Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,
if you like.

Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.

untitled

first.

a little spur of the moment decision to head out downtown together. Times square. The place for lala people?

MAYBE. but 'twas fun all the same:)

Chloe, the girl who eats choc shit and exclaims delicious and wants to go back again some time for more.

Suet mun(right) and her friend, Nikki from hometown.

was she ever ecstatic her best friend came to town to continue life with her.haha.

by the way, note that she's the wierd lady that drinks with 2 straws.

Not cause she has an ultra large mouth. Just cause.

Oh, and the choc shit i was telling you about. apparently it was vanilla ice cream.
Wendy's are so not doing it right then. vanilla = white no??

-more pics later la. they just don't load.so irritating.

second.

not that its less important than the second,
as it does really take centre stage nowadays,
but why the heck is it so hhhott?
it rains, but you still feel the sweltering heat, no sense of coolness after the storm at all!
That is if you get a storm at all la.
no point showering and wasting water if you're gonna come out the next second sweating, is there?
ugh.. but i do still bathe and waste water, if you're wondering..

on a lighter note (pun intended),

third.

all hail Kris Allen,
this awesome guy should win.
not black goth wierd Adam Lambert.
America, you better vote properly.

Although yeah, Adam probably makes more of a statement, but still..

And Kris and David Archuleta, a bit of resemblance there right? in style and looks?

hmm.. fate wise?? maybe?

haha.

fourth.

"Now that we've established that worship is life and life is worship, my question for you is simple:
Do you feel the presence of God in your life?
(or in another way, how real is God in your life?)"

OUCH.

To pursue my love for God again.

all the more, all the deeper.

We speak of worship, we speak of reverance, we speak of surrender - but the Bible says that the most important thing, is Love (1Cor 13:13).

The presence of God isn't just a feeling, it can be a state of being.
A state you live in constantly.

It's homework apparently. I HATE HOMEWORK. So I'd much rather see it as a challenge,

and if I fulfilled the task I'm giving myself two weeks. Am I excited.
The test. heh. so far-ny.

five.

Random facts on NS I don't tell people:-

one. We (meaning exactly 23 people in the dorm, girls in that case) crazily books toilets to shower.

to clue you into the picture, here's an example.

(walks into the dorm, shower time)

the two toilet booths are empty, but never go in there simply just cause it's empty,

unless you want to incur the wrath of 22 other girls.

a bit exaggerating la, but it's somewhere along those lines.

a: Who's going in next?

b: c la.

a: oh c, after?

c: nope, it's d after.

a: d, after?

d: nope, e after.

a: e, after?

The conversation much as well continues that way until it reaches the end of the line la, which in my case is most usually the real end end since a few of us are always " man ban pai"- a step slower.

when people showering I eat. when people laze around, I shower.

two. Ramlee burgers are heaven.

Yep, we still get to eat ramlee burgers in NS. tells you how much they torture us there doesn't it?

we practically run to the stalls during yuck menu days, weekends or free time.

The cafe, includes the kedai which sells EVERYTHING!, the drink stall and the burger stall.

it was the hang out spot. We even nicknamed it 1U during the start due to the missing of civilisation. haha.

a: going 1U ah?

b: yep, come lets go.

a: okey, taking the car right??

ayam biasa. daging biasa. these rm 1.80 is it? much loved ayam special. means added egg and nice sauce.that for rm2.80 i think?

I tell you, it's pretty much sold out unless you go there early.

towards the end of camp, people started getting smarter and started booking burgers (more precisely the patties), and so life was another big huge rat race literally.

* denise, remember how you ran to the shop on the 2nd day to "SHOP" just cause you totally miss shopping? we laughed our heads OFF watching you run and scream and grab everything i tell you. haha!

and then in the end, finally graduating from camp not as the customer but as the cashier. not bad lor!*

nope, she doesn't get paid, it's not some fancy high-ended place, but she still suffered the storm and rain to be there to play cashier (she didn't realise she wouldn't need to since there won't be any customers in that kind of a weather XD). But then again, people turn funny in NS right? haha.

more later la. the whole ns ranting post will come sometime. In due time. This is just the "appetizer"=D

footnote. Again, phebe has reached another transition in life where she worries where will she go after this. Her future she means (bigger things in her mind you know). Aah, someone said, maybe there might not be a future for us literally which brings us to not even needing a future. Pfft.realists. (No fair, I want to live Devil Wears Prada's Life ! Devil or Anne Hathaway also can. pick either ;) )

I LOVE COLOUR

CHEERS

IF

" If only money grew on trees"

So you say it'll never happen.

Laugh all you want.

But what if it did? or so I fervently wish XP

Then, poof!!

1. No more worries.Shop Shop Shop :)

2. Instead of earning money whilst polluting the whole environment like crazy, it's will be the most eco-friendly way to get money. Plant a tree!! Towards a greener earth anyone??with money included too you know.

3. Instead of working your butts off for money, instead you would be building a career, realising your however big shot dreams with the money.or maybe just lazing around doing nothing (which isn't such a bad idea after all). Not slaving off to some nonsense job just to make ends meet. or studying like shit just so you could get more money to finance your education which leads to you slaving and slogging and the whole process repeats itself. You know what i mean.

which leads me too...JPA RESULTS are coming out!

real soon.

oh my darling god, you know how much i want it right:)

pretty pretty please<3

but wait,

if that happens,

who's going to provide me with shopping service??

who's going to serve me?

ugh..and I thought i was about to reach that "lightbulb" sensation.

Like Archimedes and his Eureka! I'd probably, nah most definitely get a cooler word than him.

But.

*dream bubbles burst*

continue dreaming lah you o.O

Sleeping time i think.

sore arm.

when there's bird flu I get the jab.

when there's swine flu I get the jab.

It's a never ending cycle.

But again, I don't want to die mah.

:)

for the love of English

I've just realised that albeit the not so canggih world, the lack of sitcoms or joke books and whatever else that makes a person funny, people were really witty those days!


this was the 1st thing that got me laughing in Great Expectations.


-...To five little tombstones, each about a foot and a half long, which were arranged in a neat row beside their (parents) grave, and were sacred to the memory of five little brothers of mine -- who gave up trying to get a living exceedingly early in that universal struggle - I am indebted for a belief I religiously entertained that they had all been born on their backs with their hands in their trousers-pockets, and had never taken them out in this state of existence.-


HAHAH. not sure if you might be in the same wavelength as me but that whole long phrase also meant their dead, without much reason for that matter.

and also some really good motivational reminders from time to time..


-...be it so or be it son't (the negative of so, lol), you must be a common scholar afore you can be an uncommon one, I should hope! The king upon his throne, with his crown upon his ed (head), can't sit and write his acts of Parliament in print, without having begun, when he were an unpromoted Prince, with the alphabet -and begun at A too, and worked his way to Z. -


note to self: yes ur going to be an exceptional person soon enough. It's the preparatory course :) right. A girl has her right to dream.so whatever.



Classics have their own way of drawing people in lah. So enriching to read them unlike rah rah chick lits you have nowadays. Don't get me wrong, those are an awesome genre of books but come on, grow up and start reading something for all it's worth! which includes awesome wit, awesome language and awesome storyline.NOT TYPICAL i love you, you love him, he loves someone else with the occasional devil/evil witch and it repeats itself all over. (hint someone~~)



quote unquoted : classics are always a good buy. they test your mental endurance but reward you till the end.



ok, maybe not just 'em classics. Try some thrillers, murders, or life changing/heart-warming/mind provoking books, non lovey-dovey stories once in a while. You'd see..

about time you threw this out :)

I came across this word while searching for something..

pra.ma// [prah-muh, pram-uh] noun
1. prom drama
2. a situation or series of events related to one's prom and marked by emotional outbursts,paranoid, overreactions, and feelings of tremendous insecurity.
usage: When 'Jessica' learned the dress wasn't available with an empire waist, she sobbed uncontrollably, displaying classic symptoms of prama.

*insert disclaimer. unsure of authenticity though ;)*

Three cheers for English.

Understood?!

You know sometimes when you're so tired of just standing there and let LIFE throw its rubbish at you and then you just stand up and say "ugh!enough!" and hope your words actually make a difference when deep down you know you cant fight the forces of nature?

Yeah.
Oh well. It's one of those days.

holidays :)

winks!!

im betting there are tonnes of people out there so eager to kill me right now.

march intake fella, no hw (ok got la!a bit a bit), no stress, no exams, and having a whole week of holiday!!

SLEEP. SHOP. TV. READ.

wahaha.

to live life to the fullest huh??

my first driving lesson and i got on the road..how awesome.

although its crazy embarassing that i mati enjin at crucial times like...when its moving time after a red light turns green..or when ur suppsoed to go UP THE BUMP and not stop just right in front of it :) not my fault la that my coordination sucks a teeny weeny bit :) *winks*

i was thinking this when i was driving.. Man!I'm old and i can finally grow up from bumper cars and start doing the ADULT stuff.haha.

right, and did I mention? I was so crazy lucky, I got a chinese/canto/bm speaking instructor. Three cheers for me?? the first sentence he said to me was "lei sek gong gong to wa mow??" translated: can u speak cantonese? i shook my head and spoke in my banana chinese instead. U can't exactly blame me for that since my next option would be Bahasa Melayu?? i'm not THAT proud to be a malaysian..heh.

PAROIMIA WAS AN AWESOME BLAST!! A KNOCKDOWN LITERALLY!!

p.s. i know..i'm surprised i'm starting a blog for real too.. procrastination at its best:) join the club anyone?

currently reading : Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

recently watched : The Kite Runner

August Rush

over and out lovely's..

ain't it a good day:)

New Blogger Alert

yes yes,the whole cliche first post.
all dedicated to my darling yen.. (seriously, did you talk me into this just to have your name posted on this blog?? :) really.)

i've put this task off for a real long time now.so hopefully it does work:)
phebe the blogger??really??
there..
more later..
done.
haha.